Saying ‘yes’ to scared

When I was in elementary school, my sister and I would often accompany my parents to visit shut-ins and the elderly. (Yes, I was a pastors kid.) I won’t get into the singing performances that they use to make us do at nursing homes but I will say this – what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. (Looking back, I’d do the same if I ever have kids… so many life lessons when you learn how to serve.)

One day my younger sister and I went with my mom to visit an elderly lady (looking back, she was probably only 60). I remember it vividly. It was a cool, crisp, Indiana fall day. I was wearing sweat pants (this will be important later). No doubt my sister and I pleaded to go outside and play to avoid what seemed like unending hours of boredom. As soon as my mom said yes, we were off to discover and conquer the great unknown… her backyard. In the course of our exploration, we found an old rusty swing set that was dripping with untapped play potential.

Photo Credit: Philip Childress

I have always been one who has been motivated by challenges. You tell me I can’t do something and you should consider it done. When I was young, I was no exception. I’m not sure if this stupid act came by way of a dare or me just be adventurous. None the less, I found myself on the top of the rickety swing set getting ready to do a front flip. (We called these front hurkies in the midwest circa 1989.) So, I prepared to flip around the bar and when I did, my beloved sweat pants got stuck in a stray hook, along with my inner thigh… while I was upside down… six feet off the ground. I had no other choice but to let go and plummet to the hard, unforgiving, earth. I landed safely with a gash on my inner thigh and shredded sweat pants.

Why am I telling you this? Well, because I’ve been toying with the idea of fear lately. Not kid fear – adult fear. Kids tend to be afraid of things like the boogie man and the dark. They’re not afraid, however, to fall and take risks. (Even though my palms are sweating from reliving the above experience.) As we grow into adults, it seems like we trade fears with children. No longer are we afraid of the boogie man or the dark, but we are afraid to take risks and fall.

We’ve traded adventure for logic and risk for certainty.

Most of us have jobs that are “certain”, bills that are certain, friends that are “certain”. Our lives are pretty neat and tidy for the most part. Sure we all hit a few bumps along the way, but we know what will give us bruises and what will be rewarding. If I’m not mistaken, we all gravitate toward what’s rewarding (if you’re older than 24 anyway).

As my husband and I pray about starting a new business one thought that circles through my mind is – Samira, what if you fail?

I have to remind myself that it’s okay to be scared and do it anyway. It’s okay to fail.

Now I’m not talking about doing anything stupid (insert a plethora of really bad ideas), but I’m talking about being willing to risk it all for something greater. How often do we settle for good enough when best really is out there? We settle in our work, in our relationships and even in the food we eat.

I’ve talked to people who want to go back to school and just don’t, people who want to start a new business and just don’t, or people who want to climb a 14er and well, just don’t. Maybe now really isn’t the right time. Maybe you really will do it in the future. Maybe.

I’ve been reminded lately how short life is. I don’t want to get to the end of it and say, “Whelp, it was fun – I guess. Would’a loved to have done this or try that. {shrug} Oh well.”

Oh well, you blew it. You had your chance… Wait – We still have our chance!! It’s not too late to do what you’ve always longed to do. As long as we are drawing breath, it’s never too late.

As my husband and I pray about the transitions ahead of us, I choose to remind myself that we have one go around at this life. Sure, we might fall and hit the ground head first (won’t be the first time) or we might not. But we won’t know until we look scared in the face, put our arm around its shoulder and invite it into our journey. Because when we say yes to scared, we realize that what we’re really saying yes to is being human.