Letting go

A message to myself:

Even if there’s something better out there… It’s hard to let go of what’s in my hand for the unknown.

As I clutch, with white knuckles to what is good enough, I keep my eyes on what is best. I just can’t let it out of my sight. I long for it… I dream about it… Though my inability to let go of good enough feeds my growing discontentment like fertilizer.

I don’t know what you believe… but I believe that you can speak to the living God – and that God speaks back. Not in a crazy way… in a sane way. In a way that really transforms my life.

So, when I pray and ask God for insight and wisdom, I believe (100%) that He gives me those things. He promises that.

I’ve been seeking wisdom regarding a transition for years. (Just ask anyone close to me, I’m sure they’re tired of hearing about it.) So finally, I felt like I knew what I needed to do. It was clear. More than clear actually – uncomfortably clear – the kind of clarity that has to do with obedience. When clarity mixes with obedience, that’s some serious stuff. Seriously good. But serious none the less.

So, that’s where I am… struggling to obey.

Like God has never proven Himself faithful, good, or loving beyond comprehension. So, why can’t I let go of a mediocre dream for something greater? Can I not see that it actually is greater than what’s in my hands? Is it because I know that the next step will be hard? Is it just too risky?

So, I’m at a crossroad… I’m either going to believe that where He leads me is best – or I’m not.

If I can just wrap my mind, a little bit more, around how much God loves me… I would be less fearful, less intimidated and more willing to let go of the known for the unknown… Because if He really does love me, then He is trustworthy – without hesitation.

Sometimes I wonder if I jump, will he be there to catch me? Or, what if I leave what is certain -and obey- and then it all collapses in on itself…. and I end up out on the street – begging for food – without my tweezers (possibly the worst case scenario)… Okay… I know, a bit over the top… But sometimes, before I even get to taking the step of faith, deciding to turn in the direction of obedience is more difficult than anything.

The unknown that I turn toward might fall apart. Then again, the certainty of today might be pulled from underneath me. If I do everything right, things could still end up in a hot mess.

You see the thing is (and excuse me as I tell myself this for the eighteen millionth time)… It’s not up to me to make it right and beautiful and successful. Success doesn’t hinge on my perseverance, intellect or smooth skills (whatever those might be) alone.

What I am responsible for is loving people and loving God. It’s not complicated really (though I tend to over complicate everything). It’s simple… Today, am I being obedient to what God is leading me to do?

Am I willing to let go of my expectations, fears and disappointments and turn toward Him {and trust} in His love? His love that sacrificed, and gave and risked it all… And continues to give so that I might continue to scratch the surface of how deep and how wide and how high is His love.

If I can allow myself to get lost in His great love, then I can more fully see who He really is… In seeing who God really is, you can’t help but fall more in love with Him. Then, all I will want to do is turn and run in the direction that He is calling me.

If you would like to know more about what talking to God looks like – or want to ask any questions about His love for you, email me. We can walk through it together.

 


A favorite part of my job…

..mixing color {gouache}. These three colors left me speechless. ((love them – and combined… so beautiful: periwinkle, aqua and white)) Colors never cease to take my breath away. God makes amazing things.

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Happy New Year!!!

{…35 days late.} Though it know I am on time when I say Happy Chinese New Year!!! …so I’ll stick with that.

I was at Lowe’s – naturally – (the ongoing house remodel) and came across this site for sore eyes:

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The Pantone (I’m obsessed with Pantone!) color of the year – – Radiant Orchid!! {and the crowd cheers} Last year, the color was Emerald.

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Currently, wedding colors that are trending are charcoal, salmon and coral. Radiant Orchid, on the other hand, has not made a trendy appearance in the wedding world for a long time. I like Radiant Orchid. This color is lively, bold and feminine. If you are a trendsetting bride, and wondering about what accent color to use (I know – so many beautiful colors to choose from), Radiant Orchid might just be your color… And if you’re a DIY bride, and like the Pantone color of the year, you now know where to get your paint. 


Planes, trains and automobiles…

Planes, trains and automobiles...

I had the ultimate pleasure of working with one of my favorite clients, Vicki, on her husbands retirement party. After a career working as a pilot with UPS, Vicki set out to make his party unforgettable.

For the party, I calligraphed a very beautiful poem and the cutest place cards*… paper airplanes. I loved it! What a creative idea!

Then it got me thinking… Why not use other paper shapes for place cards, escort cards and even gift tags!? I was at Hobby Lobby today hanging out in the clearance section {SO DANGEROUS!}, and found a pack of die cut paper doves for $.71. {I was stoked!} With the holiday’s approaching, I am planning on using these pretty little doves as gift tags and calligraphing the recipient’s name on them.

Thanks for the idea Vicki and for the sweet buy Hobby Lobby!

 

* white paper, gold ink, Texas lettering style


She’s finally here!!

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My new folding pen came today! [[I am so excited!]] Taking time to learn this new tool. It’s messy and freeing, which I love… and no matter what it is, I think that beauty is found in the midst of freedom.


Playing

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Salmon envelope from Paper Presentation with Dr.Martins Bleed Proof White ink.


Brighten up holiday envelopes

I love getting Christmas cards!! I especially love photo Christmas cards. I proudly place every card we receive on our fridge, and seeing all of the smiley faces makes me happy!

Though there is a part of Christmas cards that usually doesn’t make anyone happy…. Addressing their envelopes. I’ve heard people complain about the time it takes them to address their envelopes as well as what their handwriting looks like. Well, you can either hire a calligrapher (best idea ever), print them (worst idea ever) or hand address your envelopes. Since most people hand address their envelopes, here are a few ways to brighten up a task that may seem more like a chore…

First of all, be realistic! Theres no need in trying to be Wonder Woman or Mr.Incredible by addressing all of the envelopes in one sitting. If you have 100 envelopes, address 20 a day. Make this process easy on yourself.

Once you have realistic expectations, grab your favorite holiday beverage (one of mine is a grande, soy, three pump, gingerbread, no whip, latte – yes, I’m that person), play some of your favorite Christmas music, grab a few markers and pens, along with your address list, and have some fun!

Use a sparkly pen to add some accents.

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Draw a large first letter on the envelope.

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Or, if you really want to play (and have more time) let your imagination run wild… the sky is the limit!

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Each envelope can be different and provide you with a new artistic palate to play on.

Have fun addressing your Christmas envelopes! Chances are, if you have fun addressing them, people will have fun receiving and opening them!

TOOLS: Black Micron 05, Sakura Gelly Roll and Gelly Roll Metallic (assorted colors).